Thursday, 15 May 2008

I made the final ten...........

.......How cool is that then? Crikey, I go away to Scotland for ten days, get back and it’s all kicked off – I made it to the final top 10 of the Funniest Blog Award. I am happier than a pig in shit at such an accolade. Come to think of it, what with me being a bit of a lardy arse sitting here melting in this heat we have been getting lately, I’m starting to smell like one too. Better get out and run myself through the sheep dip in the field at the back – I can de-flea and de-tick myself at the same time. I need to be in tip top condition if I am to meet my public – queue a pedicure and manicure to get my crusty old trotters into ship shape condition; queue a 10k liposuction procedure to remove the cellulite from my cellulite from my cellulite; queue an intensive hair treatment from a hairdresser who performs miracles on menopausaloldbags who have hair like a burst couch that constantly traps combs in it that have to be surgically removed and finally, queue some geezer with a trowel, pollyfilla and a sander to prepare the old fisog for at least three inches of slap to try in a vain attempt to knock ten years off myself. Alternatively maybe I could kill two birds with one stone and get my hair scraped right back into the tightest of pony tails, thus achieving that sink-estate face lift look, I could save a fortune. Either way, looking like a munta is not a good look.

But wait....what am I talking about? Why the panic? We’re anonymous! Ha ha! No need to change out of my stained and grubby housecoat that I’ve been knocking about in for two days; no need to run myself through that sheep dip after all, although come to think of it, my hunkymanthing has been sitting here with a mask on for two days or so – I thought he was spray painting our old garden furniture – perhaps I am minging more than normal. Oh well can’t do any harm to have a quick run through – at least I can rid myself of that swarm of flies that have been hovering around my bonce. So, how fab is that then? No need to pull out all the stops for no one but my dogs and the hubby can see me. But dear god, really, when I look in the mirror I realise just how far I have morphed into Waynetta Slob , she of the face like a greasy pizza, so perhaps an overhaul is long overdue. So, dear peeps, I shall make the effort for if you look good, you feel good and who cares if it’s only the spilled and congealed egg yolk on my housecoat that is keeping it together, darn it, I’ll bite the bullet, have it surgically removed from my pasty white frame and wash it.

So, now that I have my personal hygiene and grooming plan in place I want to mention two other bloggers that are nominated for glory in their own categories; the delightful AIMS of bigbluebarnwest; a prolific writer who is in the Most Inspirational blog top 10. She truly is an inspiration and deserves to win this. Please pop along and read her blog and vote for her. The other gem I wish to mention is Carolyn of Laughingaloneithedark. She is in the best Mommy blog top 10 and so very deserves to be there. She is a bright new thing who is a tremendous writer with pathos and humour. Watch out for her as I believe she is a real talent on the up.

So dear peeps, I am really excited about this development so if you feel it in your heart to make an old bag’s day then please pop along and vote for me. A whole bunch of Mwah, Mwah type air kisses to all and sundry who support me. Do a kind act, you’ll feel better for it and the universe will repay you with even more kindness!

And we can all do with just that little bit more kindness and luck in our lives. MWAH!

21 comments:

softinthehead said...

WOW well done and to think all three of you are on my blog roll. I will get right over there to vote for you. Keep it up - another great post. See we knew there was a reason we should remain anonymous!! :)

Tammy said...

Great post!!! You've ot my vote for sure!!!!

ciara said...

i did my part and voted for you! :)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Softinthehead - aw shucks and thaks forthe vote! Nice to see you back from France saely.

Tammy - thanks for popping by and voting for me - I am very grateful.

Ciara - thanks so much,

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
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auntiegwen said...

Well done sweetie, I did vote for you, hope all niceness comes your way xx

Carolyn said...

There you go again... being ridiculously funny and sweet all at the same time. I have no idea why you write such nice things about me, but I certainly appreciate it. Congratulations on making it to the Top 10. I'm just glad I wasn't nominated against you because I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning!

Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

Dusty Spider said...

Well done you!! Flick xx

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Auntigwen - oh ta hen for the vote! You are too kind indeed!

Carolyn - ditto on being in the same category as you - you'd win hands down! You are a great talent hence me banging on about it! Take a bow because even if you don't win you got in the top ten out of hundreds of entries - way to go girl!

aims said...

Oh Honeykins....I've voted for you daily!!

Thanks so much for the mention! I can't believe I made it into the top 10 and squealed with delight when I found you and Carolyn in there too!!

Go girl - go girl - go girl!!

GoneBackSouth said...

Hello. I saw the name of your blog somewhere, laughed out loud, and just had to come and visit. Big MWAHs all round. Hope you win!
- GBS

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

AIMS you are at 85% - fantastic and well deserved. Thanks for voting me for daily - I've just been on to do you again too! Great to see Carolyn doing well on there too. Weeren't we lucky to get this far though?

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

GBS - thanks for the vote! I'll be over for a visit!

Tina said...

MOB, have been voting like mad, best of luck my sweet, you deserve it.

KAREN said...

Well done, and much deserved :o)

The Lehners in France said...

Hi,I know I've been AOL for a while, but I've been voting for you and aims and will continue to do so. Debs x

Lane said...

Done!
Will repeat:-)
Well deserved!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Tina, Karen, Debs, Lane thanks so much - a bit of a hoot really and there is stiff competition out there. I've never won anything in my life - except a packet of Rolo's at school once! Don't expect to win this but I am chuffed to be in the top ten! Ta very much peeps.

Debra in France said...

I've voted for you today and will continue to do so. You deserve this award. Debra xx

Retiredandcrazy said...
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Retiredandcrazy said...

I voted - am I too late - what am I voting for - what's my name?