Saturday, 1 November 2008

A Blast From the Past.....

I opened my desktop email as I do every morning and on seeing the ‘Receiving Mail’ message kick in on the task bar at the bottom of my screen, I waited for the usual mix of round-robin jokey mails that mostly I can live without because they are about as funny as lacerating your piles on a broken glass; couple those with the odd spam about enlarging my penis, (nope I don't have one in case you are wondering), to the length and girth of a Jedi Knight’s lightsaber, (imagine that girls – massively erect, lit up in the dark and being waved at you from five feet away; you could probably have the orgasm of your life followed by a quick hysterectomy and superb cauterisation to minimize the bleeding, come to think of it you could probably have a fairly successful tonsillectomy into the bargain and not even be in the same room as your well endowed lover); add to that a selection of pointless marketing shite about everything you will never need in this life like a fake Rolex watch with an X Factor winner’s face on it and of course besides some wee thieving arsehole trying to con you out of your Abbey savings account balance there is always the ultimate in emails – the fecking death threat chain emails promising you great suffering from the relatively simple boils on your arse infliction to a total wipe-out of your family, business and life as you know it threat if you don’t forward it to 3.2 million people in the next 5 nanoseconds. Like I give a rats ass about them but it does cheese me off that people perpetuate the fear factor and forward them to people they profess to love and care for – oh yeah? So how come you’ve just sent me an email promising torture of unimaginable proportions if I don’t send it on and then you finish off with a salutation of:

‘Hope all is well with you,
Talk soon,
Love,
The mental case that just sent this’.

So erm, how does that work then eh?
But hey, all that crap aside, you might just get lucky and eventually get a golden nugget of an email from family, good friends and old acquaintances that are a joy to read. Lets face it, for all its misuse, email when used for its intended purpose can be magical. It is quite simply the naughties version of the love letter and has encouraged millions driven apart by circumstances to put pen to paper or at least key to document and articulate things they might not have thought of saying in our time poor society.

Well anyway enough pontificating, bugger me, there I was last week firing up the desktop to welcome this array of communication excellence into my home whilst I sauntered off to brush the old gnashers in readiness of having a smile here and there or at the very least a grimace at some old crap that I had to delete - actually if I could get my hands on the wee sods that think I am stupid enough to send them all my bank and family details ranging back to the early 19th century so they can perform an online mugging of my bank accounts I would gladly pull their teeth out one by one in the style of the dentist in the Marathon Man movie where poor old Dustin Hoffman doesn’t look much like he’s enjoying it. For feck sake, that movie set back dentistry about thirty years, as if it needed it. Personally I like to cling to my dentist’s nuts with a tightened bulldog clip whilst he insists on drilling into some deeply soft tissue and jaw bone with a piece of hardened steel that was last used on a construction site. We usually come to an understanding that if he hurts me then he doesn’t get off too lightly himself. Actually this is a piece of artistic license here because my dentist reads my blog and I want him to see it in black and white that I'll come after him and there is no hiding place in this world if he hurts me bad - ever again. It took him ages to find the blog - he kept looking for Genocaushaloldgag - well Christ he'd ask me what it was called when he had a whole fecking denitistry tool kit lodged in my open and by now three foot wide stretched gob - what the hell did he expect? Perfect enunciation whilst I was choking on my own spit?

Anyway, as usual I digress. Incoming email trickled in one by one and settled into a list of twenty or so. One caught my eye simply because it was so unique. ‘ Calling all LDCers’ was the title. My heart skipped a beat and I re-read the title before double clicking on it. “This is going to be interesting”, I thought and I was right. LDC was Sperry Univac’s London Development Centre from the early seventies through to the mid 80’s before it was then dismantled and moved to Milton Keynes. During that time, over 200 of us worked as computer software programmers, hardware engineers, analysts, designers, operators and a big support staff for one of the most exciting and innovative American I.T. manufacturers of its time. It was a place that housed such immense talent and skills and incredible personalities that it would be hard to replicate it today.

HEALTH WARNING - NON TECHNICAL READERS SHOULD SKIP FORWARD OVER THE NEXT PARAGRAPH HERE PARTICULARLY IF YOU OWN A GUN - DON'T READ ON BECAUSE YOU MAY WANT TO SHOOT YOURSELF SHORTLY AFTERWARDS.

It was unique in its time in that the centre was at the forefront of technology, science and physics in inventing and developing the early I.T. systems that are the great great grandparents of the totally sophisticated desktops and laptops of today. Crikey, when we started programming we used Assembler, ASM, then Meta Assembler MASM, Plus, PL1 and eventually FORTRAN and COBOL, 1st, 2nd and third generation languages but then to talk about this technical stuff really is to bore for Britain and America about programming languages. But those with an interest will fondly recall having a punch room full of girls who translated coding sheets onto 80 and 132 column punch cards which were the programmes of the day. These soon gave way to the terminal – a green Cathode Ray Tube with a keyboard which allowed us to type our code into files and run them as a batch run. We were known as the ‘Green Tuber’ generation of I.T. and those green tubes, thanks to the likes of Bill Gates, evolved into the PC’s that we use today.

GOT THIS FAR WITHOUT TOPPING YOURSELF? AWARD YOURSELF 10 GOLD STARS AND DO THE SENSIBLE THING, DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND FECK OFF AND READ SOMETHING ELSE OF CONSEQUENCE THAT WON'T STRIP YOU OF THE WILL TO LIVE.

Sperry Univac being the multinational corporation that it was employed a plethora of cultures, nationalities and people from the very wealthy to the very poor but all had a lust for computers and a talent to match - I couldn't believe my luck being employed alongside these great people. London Development Centre, (LDC), had a reputation for excellence, working hard and playing hard and copious amounts of alcohol were consumed over at Charlie’s Prince of Wales, (POW), pub just a skip away over the road from the office. Just for a change now and again, we’d all head off to the Queens Railway Tavern, (QRT), to snort a few gallons of booze there. We firmly believed in keeping the local economy on an even keel and spread our embarrassingly large earnings between the pubs that let us partake of lengthy lock-ins to the extent you practically just rolled back to work the next day rather than go home first. Such was our reputation, people clamoured to get assignments to this place which was a grand melting pot and only language we needed in common was the programming languages we used and a common bond to create the best products in the world - or so we thought anyway!

Humour played a huge part in keeping us going on the long days we worked. Friendships were forged that last to this day. Relationships were made and broken and made again in the biggest dating agency going at that time. I married my first husband, divorced him, met and lived with my second long term partner then broke up and fell in love with another who was never going to be mine because neither of us was free at the same time - and all of them from the same work environment. This was typical of the environment as we all worked long hours and travelled a lot and we saw more of anyone from work than we ever did of friends and family. It was simply an extended university environment and we had some of the best years of our personal and career lives whilst working there.

I saw the world from that office in London Paddington. Both in terms of the differing cultures working there and on the assignments we were sent on overseas. No matter where you went on assignment there was usually someone based there that you knew and nights on the town were the order of the day. There are a thousand adventures I could write about but I won’t bore you with these right now.

And so, yes this email is a golden nugget, a real gem and one that makes having all the other old tat come in worth it in the long run. This email has generated a thousand memories, smiles, reflections on a time gone by and it’s raked up some deeply buried moments that are a joy to rediscover. The point of the email?.........There is to be a reunion next year. As I read through the list of email names it has been sent to, I felt the most immense joy at the thought of seeing so many of these people again. In particular, one name stands out - the second person that I fell in love with. He’s on the list, flew in from overseas for the last reunion which I couldn’t attend so will more than likely be at the next given the amount of notice we have been given this time round.

Will I attend? You bet I will but I think Himself will probably attend with me! He trusts me and is comfortable with me going along on my own but you know, I'd like him to meet some of the finest people that I have known that influenced me greatly in my most formative years; people that I have so much in common with, a shared history and a chance to renew those friendships that got shelved as our profession and industry took a battering and we moved onto pastures new.

And what of those death threat chain emails that I get sent? I usually email the sender and ask them not to send me these emails but if they ignore my requests, then I just send it back to the person that sent it to me.....Keeps them paranoid wondering what the hell to do with it now and I get a laugh out of it!

47 comments:

Mima said...

It sounds as if it will be an amazing opportunity to walk down memory lane with some wonderful people. Make sure that you get it into your diary so that nothing can get in the way & I hope that you have a fantastic time.

Maggie May said...

Ah...... email. What would we do without it?
Look forward to hearing how you get on at the reunion. Course it might not be for ages.

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

I agree about the fecking annoying spam! and laughed so much at your text!
But it's true, the world has truly become a better place because of e-mail! It keeps me sane (more or less!) knowing that I can just connect and keep in daily contact with my family and friends in London through my trusty e-mail and MSN! The world has truly become a smaller place!
Now if only I had it those first few years that I was in Brasil, the hardest ones...

Good luck at the reunion! It sounds like a wonderful group of people and I too worked in an environment similar to that when I worked in London (albeit in newspaper jornalism) so I know how you feel about all the memories and friendships!
All the best! x

Kitt said...

A blast from the past! Nice to get a welcome email once and again. I recently found some old schoolmates on Facebook and I'm not sure how I feel about it. In my head they're still 13 and obnoxious.

KAREN said...

It's reassuring to know that you don't have a penis :o)

I look forward to hearing about the reunion!

auntiegwen said...

Isn't it great what IT gave to the masses, I know I'm always moaning about techfeckinology but only because I don't understand it !

GoneBackSouth said...

A reunion! How brilliant. It is bound to stir up some old feelings - but I bet it will be worth it.

Mean Mom said...

You were very fortunate to work with people who became such good friends. It sounds like you'll have a really good time at the reunion.

I notice that you're with hotmail. My middle son has a hotmail account and gets loads of spam, as does a friend of mine. My husband suggested that I should try fastmail, as he'd not had much trouble with spam. The only thing I have, very occasionally, is something asking for my Abbey account details. Worth a try, maybe?

RiverPoet said...

You had me in stitches with the light saber imagery! I hope you will have a great time at the reunion when it rolls around...
Peace - D

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Mima – I know the month, just need the date now. But you are right, it’s such an important event for me that I’ll work around it no matter what. I am really looking forward to ad quite excited about it.

Maggie – hopefully it will be an event to write about. There was never a dull moment with them all and the last time a lot of us got together I laughed the skin on my throat red raw”

The Brit – so you worked in journalism then? I am not at all surprised given your real talent for the written word. Yes your environment was pretty much like ours was as I knew a terrific journalist who was married to one of our colleagues and he was such a hoot and regaled us of many similar tales of debauchery amongst journalists. To be honest I think the 70’s and 80’s were the most exciting of times as so much was changing and we had so much more than our parents did – different freedoms in life, especially the workplace. And we were economically better off and that made a huge difference to the quality of our lives. I love getting personal emails where someone has taken the time to just write no matter what the quality of it. Glad you get to keep in touch with home. It’s a lifeline at times isn’t it?

Kitt – it’s definitely something to consider meeting up with old schoolmates. I think that is harder to do as you knew them as children. My reunion is a bit like my old alumni uni meetings – you are at least an adult by the time new people get to know you so all they see is more wrinkles and weight and less teeth and hair next time they see you! I doubt I would attend a school reunion – too much time has passed and I can’t remember most of them anyway. All I have to do now is loose several stones in weight and get fit! I plan to do that and what a great motivation for it.

Karen – I most certainly don’t have a penis although I envy the looks of those Thai lady-boys that have boobs and a todger!

Auntiegwen – Aye hen, I.T. has been a real success but you are allowed to moan about it when it doesn’t work because it can be spectacularly badly behaved when it wants to be. I have drop kicked a wireless router connection out of a window or two in my time. Wireless my arse. Two Coke cans and a bit of string would perform better.

Gonebacksouth – stirring up feelings alright! I am intrigued to see how I will feel at the time what with seeing all these old friends and colleagues. A bit scary in some ways but I’ll blog about it shortly after I hope.

Mean Mom – I had a very difficult childhood that was filled with fear and violence but with a mother that loved me greatly. Leaving home to get qualifications was the first normal existence that I experienced normality and terrific fun. After that, moving to London and working for this company was my lifesaver and taught me that people can be kind, loving and caring without wanting anything except friendship in return. I will never forget what I learnt there and how it developed me as a person so I trust it will be a great reunion. Re the spam – thanks for the suggestion. I’ve got it mostly sorted as most of it goes into a BTopenworld internet spam folder. Only one or two get through now and then.

Riverpoet – you’d probably need stitches after having a bit of jiggery pokery with something that big! Glad you found it funny – if you had any other reaction I might have worried bit about you.

Flowerpot said...

the reunion sounds fascinating - look forward to hearing about it!

Lena said...

I do hope the reunion goes well. I've met up with a few friends from high school and my even younger years and it's great to see how we're all fairing.

Sadly, the main person I wanted to get in contact with - my old penpal Olivia - just hasn't shown up after long, long searches.

Ah, well there's always the long list in my inbox, of men and women from Afro Introductions, (that I've never seen in my puff and vice versa that have fallen deeply in love with me after simply reading my name) to fall back on if life gets tediously boring! It's a case of Wham SPAM No Thank you M'aam that seem to inundate via email.

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi MOB!
Yes I was a journo! albeit an assistant journo... my time was the whole of the 90's so it was the "greed is good" and "lunch is for wimps" phase...
Weeks full of "liquid lunches" in the pub and week-nights and weekends spent away from friends and family having to partake in CD launch parties, concerts or press interviews (I was an assistant music journalist) so it was all very hectic! and life was a never ending blur of work and having to meet plenty of shallow people (sticks fingers down throat) and hanger-ons who were always trying to scrounge an all access pass or wanting to meet Robbie Williams!
It was extremely hard work! however I do miss the great laughs and fun we all had! Although getting out of that lifestyle saved my life... I have many interesting stories, both funny and sad, and will have to write about some of it in my Blog one day...
Big Hugs! x

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Flowerpot – who knows! I plan to have the time of my life. I think what I am looking forward to is the laughter. There is nothing better than laughing easily with people who share the same sense of humour that just flows as it isn’t hard work.

Lena – I hope you find Olivia soon. She’ll probably turn up out of the blue and totally surprise you and you’ll start talking as though not a second has gone by between your last and this new conversation!

Brit – music journo! Even more exciting than the standard stuff!. I can see all those flipping hangers-on’s now. I know of someone who is completely celebrity obsessed and would sell her granny to become friends with any celeb – even a z lister! I find the whole notion of celebrity rather repulsive – not the real talents who earn and deserve their place but the wannabe’s and the talentless who are just attention-seeking-in-your-face-pests. You must have really had your fill shallow vacuous and deeply self centred people that would have done anything to get to a celeb. No wonder you feigned sticking your fingers down your throat! But like you say, you must have some terrific tales to tell. I am going to write a post about this stuff some day as I can’t get over the sheer poverty we have in this world and yet we have the other end of the spectrum that worships complete garbage such as the Paris Hilton’s and what the hell she is wearing to her latest red carpet do that she has just gatecrashed. Sorry off on a rant!

Can’t wait for when you get cracking on those narratives, I bet they will be highly entertaining. Big hugs back!

david mcmahon said...

You have the ability to capture our attention with any subject.

Moannie said...

Oh dear! You had me in stitches with the light sabre imagery, but lost me with the techno details [I am old and a dunce] then got me again with the reunion.

hope you have a ball, that all the ofice beauties are fat, and the Adonis, bald, and that you are the belle of the ball, or meal, or standing around with drinks...

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi MOB,
Yes I totally agree with you! There are so many problems in the health industries throughout the world and no money to keep people alive in hospitals or with medication and yet these talentless celebs get pampered and paid millions to put on a fake concerned smile at some pointless event! I find it absurd...
And I agree too that there are many celebrities who are very hard workers and are also very genuine talented people and I was fortunate enough to have met quite a few (had a wonderful intelligent chat in a corner for half an hour with Robbie Williams at the launch party of his "I've been expecting you" CD - really great guy!)
But even though I had a wonderful time and it was a great job with wonderful people and opportunities I couldn't have stayed there forever, after 9 years I did really get sick of all the shallowness and frenzy of it all.
However I also still keep in touch with my ex-boss and some good friends from there (mainly by e-mail) and have met up for some drunken nights when I have visited London. My ex-boss is always trying to get me to go back to work for him! Insistent bastard! haha

So when is your reunion? Hope you have a wonderful time! x

Lane said...

Sounds like it's going to be a good 'do' and I look forward to hearing all about it. Emails like that make working through all the old tat worth it.
:-)

Sandi McBride said...

After laughing till sick, checking to make sure I didn't pee myself then having another round of laughter I went back in my e-mail delete files and dragged out some of the "suffering will ensue" e-mails from my supposed friends and sent them right back to them...incognito of course...you are my hero...I worship at your feet...
oh, and congrats on the POTD mention!
Sandi

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

David – thank you so much, you are always generous with your feedback and thank you too for the mention in your post of the day again.

Moannie – aw sure I hope we are blessed with good health, good eyesight to recognise each other and where there is incontinence in our advancing years, , that colostomy bags are fitted so the place doesn’t smell like a care home!

Brit – It’s a good measure of how good you are at your job if an old boss wants to re-hire you. At least you know if you ever returned you have a future here. So you got to chat to Robbie W then? He’s a terrific talent and personality – nice to hear he is a down to earth kinda guy after all that fame and fortune. He has his demons though eh? Oh and the reunion is September next year in Paddington – our old stomping ground.

Lane – hopefully will have loads to blog about. Mostly I want to renew some of those old friendships that were like warm blankets on a cold night. Can’t wait.

Sandi – I too have to check often that I haven’t pee’d myself either when having a good laugh! Hence the reason I swapped my armchair for a leather one – much easier to clean up after a wee leak here and there. That reminds me, squeeze and release, squeeze and release – come along now, join in, squeeze and release.......Glad my tip of returning the chain emails gave you a laugh...Go for it, play games with their psyche’s

Casdok said...

Sounds like the reunion will be a blast!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

riveting...didnt undertsand it all, about 4/10 words...but who gives one...it made me laugh and smile...thats good!!
youre a star!!

saz

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi MOB,
I just came back here to say congratulations on your post of the day nomination!! Totally well-deserved as your writing is fantastic! x

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Casdok – going on past reunions it will be a blast no doubt. Oh the excitement of it all!

Fat, Frumpy and Fifty – oh how well your names describes me! Were we separated at birth do you think? Glad you had a laugh and thank you for calling me a star! Usually I am called much worse!

Brit – aw there’s a mutual appreciation society going on here because I too think your writing is amazing. Thank you for your good wishes.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Email has certainly taken over the old fashioned hand written letter hasn't it. I always think there's something special about getting a letter through the post.

Spam are a total nuisance and the people that must stay up for hours on end sending them through the system are the one who really need to get a life.

CJ xx

Valleys Mam said...

so you must be on the same email lists that I am,except I often get them in Welsh too
A reunion , what joy as long as you are thinner and look younger than most who will be there, thats why I never seem to make it lol

tartetartan said...

Am still here. It would seem that the link from your page to mine, is to a post I did several months ago - no idea why? You might need to have a little fiddle and redirect it. Technology! TTx

blogthatmama said...

I wonder what they all look like now? Will be great MOB, look forward to reading about it.

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

Well most of that was a completely foreign language to me, but it sounds as if it will be one hell of a reunion! Lots of water under several bridges etc..
Most of the Advertising Reunions I go to now are funerals! No kidding - but we usually manage to celebrate the fact that we're still going strong. M :-)
PS. Where might one find one of those light-sabre thingies?

Cheryl said...

Your posts always have me laughing out loud. I love that, what a gifted writer you are.

I identify so much with the ongoing e-mail saga. I always cross my fingers and hold out hope that there is at least one, from an actual person I know.

The reunion sounds like great fun. I hope it happens and that you get to tell us all about it.

Take Care!
XXXXXXX

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Crystal – yes a handwritten letter is such a rare thing now. I have kept the letters that she sent me and kept the letters that I sent her over the years. I found my letters to her when I had to clear out her house. It was so nice that she kept them. Yeah the spammers are such sad individuals who are malicious and clearly educationally arrested people.

Valley’s Mam – I certainly intend to be a hell of a lot slimmer than I am now! I’ve started already. But in all reality, it’s the company that matters at the end of it all. I don’t think any of us would really care what we look like after the initial first look after all those years apart. Anyway, beer goggles make even the most aesthetically challenged people look fantastic, don’t they?!

Tartartan – Ok will take a look at the redirected site link.

Blogthatmama – I guess a lot less hair, a lot less teeth, a lot more weight and probably we will all look like the cast of Fraggle Rock!

A Mother’s place – yup I to have been to a few funerals. We had a high incident of people dying from cancer for a few years there. One of my best mates Doug died a few years ago – only 46 at the time. Big, Big loss to all of us that new and loved him. Not one person remembers Doug without smiling. He was one of the most intelligent men that I know, he taught me so much but he was also a complete lunatic. His sense of humour and kindness was just the best. His wife and children lost him much too early and so did his friends. And the light sabre thingy – I’ll send you the details!

Cheryl – oh you are much too kind with your feedback. I am lucky that most of my spam goes through to a spam folder and I just delete it in bulk. There’s always one idiot that feels it is imperative to send the old threat emails on directly to my inbox even though she was asked to desist from it - she does it to me in droves and the bloody things are so naff in their humour they are not even funny – the daft bat claims she is just sending on the funny stuff – classic denial of a superstitious eejit who can’t get them out of her mailbox quick enough. I always delete them because they are intended to spread ill-will to vulnerable people and they are the kernels in psychological terms of how obsessive compulsive orders are started. This daft bat started sending them to me again of late and I was incensed that she would ignore my request to stop as I refuse to join in with the paranoia they create. It is a question of respecting other people’s wishes. So, given that she didn’t stop, I sent her a terse note with the threatening email she sent me right back at her saying that as she refused to stop sending me them then the rule was that I was allowed to send it back to her and she wasn’t now allowed to send it to the original people she previously sent it to! Otherwise she would get double the intensity of the threat on the email! It has had the desired effect! Magic! Bloody twit of a woman.

merry weather said...

Yep, I'd guessed you were clever. It's good to know more about you. Do hope you enjoy that reunion!!

I loved reading this, it made me laugh uncontrollably... Kind of snorting! Esp the Jedi lightsaber thing - the perfect gadget for some, certainly not for me.

You're priceless, I mean here's me, edging away from my pile of study books thinking - ah yes, blogging - great, hmm, well, what can I say - er, hmm. While you on the other hand can keep us totally entertained just by switching on your computer!

Brilliant, as ever MOB!

LittleBrownDog said...

Oh, Mob - I chuckled until there were tears coursing down my cheeks and I couldn't see the screen any more. Then I went off, wiped my eyes with a bit of Kitchen Roll, and the whole thing just started all over again. Brilliant, fabulous stuff, and I will never be able to watch another episode of star wars again without my eyes watering (but I'm glad I'm not your dentist).

Have a great reunion, and can't wait to read all about it.

xx

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Merry Weather – Oh dear girl, you do me a great service by being so complimentary. I’ve always found your blog so inspirational from taking on such a great new career at this stage of the game and your brilliant writing about it is so entertaining. Glad I made you snort! I usually do that with a pile of hot tea then running down my nose – such a good look in public!

Littlebrowndog – Ah yes Star Wars – “I am your father Luke”, says Darth Vader as he twists and turns jabbing his lightsaber in Luke’s direction.
“Oh really?, great, sounds just great Dad but can you stop waving that big green luminous fecker at me dad, pleeeeease? For God’s sake man, you’ll have someone’s eye out with that”, Luke shouts as he toes it off in the other direction hoping not to get a huge burn on his arse”.
Thanks LBD for such great feedback and I’m glad you had a laugh. I’m glad I’m not my dentist either!

beth said...

All my spam emails lately have been about getting some great job opportunity or about changing my career. Do you think 'they' are trying to tell me something?!

the mother of this lot said...

Promise you won't make a holy show of yourself when you get there?

She's like the wind said...

Oh MOB that was so funny, I love email, it is my life, my work but out of all the emails I get most are about viagra 'keep your man going for hours' personaly I can think of nothing worse! x

Marianne said...

Thanks for the laughs. Looking forward to the next instalment.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Beth – welcome. As long as the career change spams aren’t getting you work in a brothel, then what the hell – gave a go!

The mother of this lot – a holy show is my middle name! I have no doubt I’ll get up to something I ought not to.

SLTW – Good God, just think how much weight you could lose if yer man was at you all night! It could be great fun, especially if you got yer hands on a Viagra tablet too. On the other hand......

Marianne – welcome, glad you had a laugh. The next instalment of that story won’t be until next September though.

Mid-lifer said...

And quite right too, bloomin chain mailers.

I missed an email though because it looked like spam, but was actually a lovely picutrue of my son dressed as a hobo on Halloween, Instead I always get fooled by emails seeming innocent which end up being the usual - hey there! do you wanna chat? add me to your msn buddies. Now why the hell would I do that?

aims said...

Oh MOB. You've made me smile when I needed it so badly. Thank you sweetie.

I've never been to a reunion of any sort. I don't have fond memories of highschool so going back would only prove what. That I can still keep my nose in the air so those little shits don't think they've hurt me once more? Nah....

And working in an environment like that....wow! I'm wondering why you left?

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Mid-lifer - Yup, the silly people that pass them on are just perpetuating fear. None of my girlfriends pass them on to anyone because they are written by nasty ner-do-well’s who wish to be malicious. I recently got rid of a couple of email acquaintances who ignored my requests to stop sending the emails because they believed they had a right to send them! Breathtaking arrogance and utterly awful manners. – especially as I have counselled both these parties in the past and just recently when they needed my help. I finally sent one chain email back to the worst offender after she ignored my request and continued sending these emails when a relative of mine died this year. I’d get about ten of these threat emails from her weekly. I finally had enough and asked her to stop yet again as even though I am not superstitious I just believed that I had had enough bad luck in my life and it is my right to reject vitriolic messages from the pathological authors of these tomes. Anyway I sent her back her final threat email telling her it couldn’t be sent on to the original 12 people she had just sent it to otherwise the rule was she would have double the bad luck it promised already! She went ballistic, told me it was vindictive and then got her pal to send me an email telling me it was vindictive! Er, what? Come again? You send me hundreds of these over the years, you claim not to be superstitious and send them on only for their joke content – which are the naffest jokes going by the way – you continue to harass me with them after I ask you three times to stop sending me them and then start claiming you’ve been victimised when you get just one of the emails you sent me back and call me vindictive?! Astonishing bad manners from both ingrates! Needless to say, both have been blocked from sending anymore emails to my box.... I’d cry if I wasn’t laughing so much at her reaction!

AIMS – I’m glad you had a laugh after the sad time you have had lately. Yup, stay away from school reunions as school is a tough environment and school bullies usually grow up to be work bullies and still enjoy pushing people’s buttons. You can do without that and let’s face it you’d gain nothing by being in their presence. We can all do with avoiding bullies, selfish people and emotional vampires in our lives. The most emotionally needy tend to be the greediest who never return the favour anyway so you do well to avoid them. Hugs Aims, I know you are very sad at the moment but it will get better. Just give yourself time.

ExpatKat said...

Ah, e-mail, that time consuming communication device that sends a load of crap around the world several times a day. Marvellous, isn't it!

Have a great reunion!

Stinking Billy said...

wee mob, why have you pulled out of my Blogs I Follow?

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Expatkat - yup crap is the word for it, well one amongst many!

Billy, oops, slip of the finger old boy - I had a rogue blog next to yours add itself to my list and as it was complete dung and quite offensive I removed it, I must have hit yours instead. Will sort it, never meant to remove one of my favourite writers. Cheers.

LittleBrownDog said...

Oh Mob - thanks for your kind comment on mine. Yes, stress I think it is indeed. Think I need to take some time out (or maybe spend a couple of hours playing Star Wars Battle Force on my son's Wii where you get to wave a metre long flashy lightsaber around. Well, it's got to be therapeutic, hasn't it.)

xx

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Littlebrownblogdog! Oh yes, get on the WII and play with that huge light saber thingy. Crikey, can I come over and have a shot too?! What great fun that sounds. Chin up, you'll feel ten years younger after playing that game.