Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Love is............

Love is....

How you blend in some misapplied make-up on the side of my nose and then just keep caressing it because you love my nose, then you bend to kiss it no matter who is around to see.

The way you take care of me and protect me when I’m vulnerable and need your arms as a shield.

When I mention a song that I like and you come home with the CD for me a day or two later.

That you laugh at my humour then make me laugh more at yours until my sides ache and tears run down my face.

The way your love acts like a balm that washes over my bruised and battered heart and strengthens it.

Staying around for the long haul through the menopausal struggle and supporting me because you knew and loved the real me first and knew I’d come back.

How when I was in the midst of the menopause and in the bad old days before the HRT started to work we went to Costco and I realised I was out in my slippers like a bewildered old fart who had escaped from a care home you just smiled, told me I looked great and said at least I'd be comfortable strolling about the big store then hugged me.

The way you wrap me in gossamer and make me feel secure when things feel wobbly from time to time.

The way you anchor me to life; the way I’m grounded by just being with you; the way your strength is contagious.

Your forgiving heart that loves me almost unconditionally no matter how horrible I was in the last three years.

The way you teased me because I said I was going to cry when we made our vows and on the day you were the one who choked and couldn't talk because you got all emotional. You almost ripped my heart out because I was so touched that you could show such emotion in front of so many people.

Watching you sleep and hearing you breathe next to me and making me grateful for the extra heartbeat that you bring.

Snuggling up to you in bed because you radiate heat like a furnace and let me warm up my frostbitten tootsies on you.

Trying not to moan that I have to wear breathing apparatus and get like a firefighter because you are forever cremating food when I let you loose in the kitchen.

Getting excited that I can hear your key in the front door when you come home safely because I know when I'm not in the car with you, you drive like you are in the Monte Carlo rally.

Trying not to wrap my hands around your throat because for the umpteenth time you took your used cup to the kitchen, left it on the newly cleaned worktop over the dishwasher. Love is trying to understand how you got all the way in there and fell at the last hurdle by not actually getting your cup into the dishwasher. What's that all about then eh?

Always lowering the toilet seat and realising you must get just as frustrated that the seat is always down and having to raise it.

Having separate bathrooms, separate toothpaste tubes and no moaning about who squeezes the tube from the middle.

Love is knowing that if you are taken before me that every habit I find annoying will become a reminder of the person who is no longer here, a reminder of the loss I have to bear, a sign that each habit was a bit of you that populated my world and that instead of grumbling about it, I should have embraced it and celebrated it. So my dear husband, for one day and one day only you get to do every annoying thing you ever wanted to do and have complete amnesty thereafter but for 24 hours only......... Oh sod it, do your worst for as long as you want. One day the clear worktop with the missing cup, the lack of black acrid smoke and the burnt food odours, the toilet seat always being down and the ensuing interminable silence will taunt me that I wasted time moaning at you needlessly when all I should have done was love you.

Love is.........Living with my best friend, lover, husband..........

So my darling for the 16th of October happy 4th wedding anniversary my hunkymanthing. Love is? Simply loving you warts and all as you do me.

Here’s our song.....Click on here and play it and if you don’t get all dewy eyed and sentimental within minutes, yer in for it okay?!


® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

What a wonderful tribute MOB!!
You have a very lucky Husband.

And I loved the last part... it's so true for anyone who's in love or ever been in love!

softinthehead said...

Ah lovely post MOB! :)

Dusty Spider said...

I feel it's almost an intrusion to comment but it is a beautiful, treasure of a post. Flick xxxx

Maggie May said...

Ah....... that's really lovely. Gulp!

Bear Naked said...

This is the most wonderful tribute to a husband I have ever read.
I can almost feel the love you have for him.

Happy Anniversary

Bear((( )))

Anonymous said...

A beautifully told love story. So moving and right from the depths of your heart and soul. How lucky you are to have each other.

The song was so fitting, a perfect end to a perfect post.

Happy Annniversary!

aims said...

Oh MOB! Sniff!

RiverPoet said...

Happy anniversary! What a beautiful tribute to your hubby! :-)

Can I borrow it for mine? ;-)

Peace - D

rebeckajane said...

Aww, that is so beautiful. Happy Anniversary xo

auntiegwen said...

This was the most beautiful thing to start my day with. I am so so happy that after all the sadness you get to have the big love. It gives me so much hope that one day I will have the big love again.

I thought the extra heartbeat was a truly beautiful thing and I know your song well, it's in my top 10 of songs.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share in this, it is a beautiful tribute to your love for each other and may you always have the big love.

Love really does top everything else, doesn't it ? xxx

Lane said...

MOB, you are one of life's lucky few.

That was beautiful.

Happy Anniversary to you both!

Mean Mom said...

Happy anniversary for tomorrow!

You are so right, of course, we should concentrate on the best things and ignore the irritating stuff. It's so easy to get the 2 things mixed up, sometimes and ignore the best things etc

It's a beautiful post and I did get dewy eyed when I listened to the song. (So I'm not in for it, now am I?)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

The Brit – Ah dear boy I am the lucky one as he is a great guy and saved my life really. He has the heart of a lion and the soul of a poet and is just lovely.

Softinthehead – thank you dear lady.

Dusty – no intrusion at all and thank you for such nice feedback.

Maggie May – he’s such a sweetie and deserved a wee mention in my blog.

Bear Naked – why thank you! Yes I love him very much and I’m glad it came through.

Cheryl – yes meeting him has been a great love story for me. He feels the same as we are soulmates.

Aim s – he makes me sniff too!

Riverpoet – welcome, yes borrow whatever you want!

Rebeckajane – thank you hope things are a bit easier for you these days dear lady.

Auntiegwen – if there is anyone who deserves the big love it’s you and those gorgeous children of yours. It will happen for you, patience dear girl! Thanks for such nice feedback and yes, being in love is a wonderful state to be in.

Lane – yes I am very lucky and appreciate him so much. Thank you for the good wishes.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

This is absolutely beautiful. What a tribute.

Jim Gerl said...


I just voted for your excellent blog for the Bloggers Choice Awards.

Could you please return the favor at:



Stinking Billy said...

wee mob, well, I do take Mrs Billy to Costco - we were there just last Saturday!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Mean Mom – yes there are times that life intervenes and we get cross about the really stupid stuff that we’d give or right arm to get back if they weren’t with us anymore. No you’re not in for it at all as you got your eyes wet a bit!

Carrie – thank you, it was meant to move him when he read it and it did!

Jim Gerl – thank you I totally forgot about that competition. I’ll pop along and return the favour but only after I’ve read your blog first! Need to see what I am endorsing first if you don’t mind.

Stinking Billy – I absolutely hate shopping! The gene passed me by and I have no fascination for it at all – that is until I get to Costco! I love that store and we spend flippin hundreds at each visit. I love popping around food shops when I am abroad and love markets but once around the fascination wanes! Himself likes a good shop around but I’m gradually weaning him off dawdling around shops! The time would be much better spent in pubs.

Deb said...

My first visit here and I am all teary...Happy Anniversary. Writing from the heart is the best and you touched the heart of anyone who has ever been in love - celebrate!

Lehners in France said...

OMG MOB, we really do need to talk! There is something very spooky going on!!! Happy anniversary. Bebs xxx

Millennium Housewife said...

Sob! wonderful post, may have to do one of my own. Off to listen to that song. MH

KAREN said...

I might just copy this for my own lovely husband, as it's our anniversary on the 25th!

Lovely words, and here's to many more years together :o)

Anonymous said...

That is very romantic. You are inspiration to the current scene I am trying to write.

CJ xx

Flowerpot said...

Oh sniff MOB. Sorry I'm a bit late here but hope you had a wonderful anniversary.

Sally said...

Happy Anniversary! You are still newlyweds at 4 years.... here's to the next 20!

Suzysoo said...

Happy Anniversary to you two, and many more to come. He sounds like a lovely man and anyway you deserve someone nice after all the shite you've been through.

Mom/Mum said...

Am gulping back the tears here lady. what a wonderful tribute to him. Congrats to you both

ciara said...

happy anniversary to you and hunkymanthing! i hope you two had a wonderful day...here's to many more years of 'love is...' and then some :)

Anonymous said...

that was just peachy , what a lovely living tribute What did he say

beth said...

Would it be wrong to copy and paste that message and send to my husband when our 4th Anniversary comes around this year?

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Deb – welcome and thanks for such nice comments!

Bebs – now that we have spoken, I see what you mean about coincidences! Spooky!

Millenium Housewife – welcome, yes get writing than significant other of yours a love tribute – brownie points aplenty!

Karen – God willing we live a bit longer!

Crystal – now I know you are writing a sex scene – just how did this inspire you? Crikey I’ll have to pay special attention to that scene in your book when it comes out.

Flowerpot – we had a really lovely anniversary. It was romantic simply because we were able to be with each other and do what we really wanted to do.

Sally – welcome and thank you for the nice wishes.

Suzysoo – ta hen!

Mom/Mum ta hen too!

Ciara – ta hen three!

Valleys Mam – he was very moved by it and even snuck back in last night to look at all the lovely comments that have been left. His head’s in danger of getting a bit big!

Beth – it wouldn’t be wrong to copy the idea but the sentiments should be from your heart I think! Thanks for popping by.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Happy Anniversary, MOB. What a lovely post. You are very lucky indeed. But then again you deserve every minute of happiness.

Stinking Billy said...

wee mob, wow, where did the lucky bugger find you? You possess the whole gamut of emotions, don't you? x

Housewifeinthehighlands said...

lovely post MOB. Our anniversary was on the 18th.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Coffee - yes I am definitely the lucky one but I do make sure that he gets the best and biggest steak, that he eats like a lord as I cook everything and more that he loves, that he is always first to be considered in my decision making process and that his life is as comfortable as possible!

Stinking Billy - honestly Billy, I am the lucky one, really, truly!

Housewifeinthehighlands - happy anniversary to you too. Hope you had a good one.

dulwichmum said...

Wow! You really are in love, aren't you. That was just perfect. I hope you had a lovely anniversary.

blogthatmama said...

I'm going to print that post out, laminate it in hard plastic and beat Lurch around the head and neck with it! Lovely post and very romantic hope you had a great anniversary. Blogthatmamax

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Dulwichmum - yes I am in love! You wouldn't think so when I get a good nag on at him though!

Blogthatmama - what a hoot you are! Love is....belting Lurch around the head with a laminated love tribute to another man! Crikey you're a catch alright! Don't lacerate his face what with all those sharp edges as he'll look like he shaved with a Stanley knife!

Retiredandcrazy said...

I couldn't have put it better myself.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Retiredandcrazy - you more than anyone will identify with the sentiments about loss. Hope all is well with you.

Casdok said...

Happy anniversary - so very heart warming :)

A Mother's Place is in the Wrong said...

How wonderful MOB. A very moving post and it's lovely that you have this love to sustain you - and that you appreciate it so much.
I'm sure such love must be rare.
Margot xx

merry weather said...

That's a lovely piece of writing. 100% from the heart. You two are so lucky to have found each other. Ah, beautiful.

(And I love the bit about the loo seat!)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Casdok – thank you very much!

A Mothers place – It’s a great love and one that I intend to nurture!

Merry Weather – I found him through the Internet....Bargain huh! Amazing what you cab get online these days.

Lori ann said...

My first visit here too, lovely lovely post! I bet you are not really a menopausaloldbag, I bet you are a sweetiepie. Thank you for sharing!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Loris Ann welcoe and thank you for your comments. I trul am a menipausaloldbag but I try to limit the negative stuff! It rarely works though....

(Very) Lost in France said...

MOB,that was a lovely tribute. I would borrow it but as the CH is unlikely to a) remember b) buy a card c) be contrite when reminded he's forgotten, I won't. I did get all teary eyed and sentimental honest. Please don't hurt me!! Happy Anniversary. VLiF

i beati said...

absolutely Sandy